Friday, August 12, 2011

why does it feel like an end??

Why does it feel like an end? and a lousy one that... more often then not, i don't find my intuition wrong, if there has been a moment that I wished it to be, this surely is one...

For very many reasons, some of which I would call stupid, I find myself in a time and space where I sense a phase coming to an end. For many reasons it is a phase I should be glad is over, as greedy as I am , I want the best of both worlds, best of the phase gone by and the new world. Honestly it is a situation where both could easily co-exist. As in one moves with the best of earlier and walks into the new to explore and find , but cushioned by the comfort of  'knowns' and more so known angels. Guess certain things however simple, is some times too good to be true.

Just as with life, one is for ever conscious that all things have to end or at the least move on... so should an end be such a cause of pain and stress. Just as in life and death, a painless death at the end of a life well lived and the basic responsibilities to the filial completed, is more to be celebrated rather then mourned. Just the same with the end of a phase within a life time. As conscious as we are of the inevitable end, the mind does not accept a rude or painful end to an awesome phase.

How much do we control this whole process? "Could we have done something differently?" will for ever remain a question with a million answers. Why could not a few things have been different, differently sequenced, could a few not have made more sensible choices... again a bunch of zillion angst, god only knows directed at whom??? One is left with the thought(to whom ever, oneself or the powers that be) "Give me the strength to accept what i can not change, the courage to change what i can and the wisdom to know the difference" the strength and courage are doable, the wisdom to know the difference - that surely comes by hard...

Old wisdom forever tells us to live n the present.... again ever so simple, was it ever easy?? why are so many simple things never easy??
After all of it, one is still hoping, is it an end at all, or just a short rest to regather and go on to better times - as it ought to have been.....

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